Guides and ideas

Start gently

A few chores that already happen work better than a long list. A first week could look like this:

• Two or three chores your child already does, like teeth, the bed and shoes, each counting at once.
• Enough free minutes each morning that the first days feel like a bonus, not a cut.
• “Try it together” in getting started: a chore’s code on your screen, so the first tap needs no sticker.
• Then tags where those chores happen, and one new chore at a time.

Screen time is optional for each child. You can start with coins and the streak, and turn screen time on later.

Chores by age

Pick chores your child can finish alone, in a few minutes, in one place. Getting started suggests three for your child’s age. Some more ideas:

What a chore earns is up to you: for example, 10 minutes for making the bed and 15 for emptying the dishwasher, or coins for a chore that counts toward a goal.

Where to stick tags

Put each tag where the chore ends, so the tap comes when it’s done:

• The dishwasher, for emptying or loading it. Metal can stop an ordinary sticker from working, so use an on-metal sticker or stick the tag on the cupboard beside it.
• The toothbrush cup, or the wall beside it, away from splashes. One tag can count teeth in the morning and at night, each with its own time window.
• The shoe rack, for shoes put away after school.
• The laundry hamper, for dirty clothes in.
• The desk, for homework done.
• The hook for the school bag, for a bag packed for tomorrow.

One tag can serve several children: the chore counts for whoever taps it. When two chores at one tag are open at once, your child picks the one they did. On an iPad, print the tags’ QR codes and stick them up the same way. Which stickers to buy is in Support.

Instant or your OK

Each chore counts in one of two ways:

• Instant: the tap counts at once, without a parent. For everyday routines, like teeth, the bed or shoes.
• Your OK: the chore waits until a parent approves it, from the notification. For chores where how it’s done matters, like a tidy room.

Start with Instant, and switch a chore to your OK if it gets rushed. A tap can’t show how well a chore was done, or that a tag stayed where you put it, so for the chores that matter most, ask for your OK. Put each tag where its chore happens, so the tap itself says your child was there. And when you see a chore done yourself, you can mark it done in the app. DoneThen never asks for photos.

Time windows and days

A chore can count only at certain times, on certain days, or once:

• Teeth from 7:00 to 8:00, and again from 19:00 to 20:30.
• Make the bed before school, from 7:00 to 8:30.
• Trash on Tuesdays and Fridays.
• Wash the car once: it goes to the first child who does it.
• A reminder at 7:15 tells your child if a chore isn’t done yet.

A tap outside the window gets a friendly message instead of minutes. On a day the chore isn’t on, the tag says “Not today!”

Coins and stamps

Minutes are for today. Coins and stamps are for the longer run.

Why stamps stay a surprise: in a well-known study, children promised an award for drawing later chose to draw less than children who got the same award as a surprise (Lepper, Greene and Nisbett, 1973). The authors note that this doesn’t argue against rewards for activities children don’t start out liking.

Challenges for learning

Challenges are chores played in the app, so they need no tag. Your child can try again until they pass.

• Math practice: adding and taking away up to 10, 20 or 100, the times tables, or dividing. The app makes the sums.
• A quiz you write: 1 to 20 questions with 2 to 4 answers each, read aloud for children who can’t read yet. Try this week’s spelling words, or the planets.
• A puzzle: one of DoneThen’s pictures in 3 × 3 or 4 × 4 pieces.
• A discovery mission, like “Find a red leaf”, which your child marks with “I did it!” and you approve when they show you. Or try “Find something round in the kitchen”.

Math and quizzes pass at a mark you set, 8 of 10 to start. A challenge earns like a chore and counts for the streak.

A shared iPad

Two or more children can share one iPad, each with their own minutes, coins and streak.

• Set the iPad up for the first child, then add the next: For parents on the iPad, and a pairing code from that child’s page.
• Between turns, the apps are locked and DoneThen asks who’s playing. Each child taps their face, then their animal PIN: three animals in order.
• A turn lasts 30 minutes, or until they tap Done playing.
• A chore scanned between turns counts for the child who picks themselves next.

The iPad has one list of limited apps for everyone. If a child forgets their animals, reset the PIN on their page. More in Support.

Asking for more time

Your child can ask for 10, 15 or 30 more minutes from their home, or with the locked app’s Ask a parent button. You answer from the notification with Give or Not now, and they hear either way.

• Up to 3 asks a day to start. Choose 0 to 10 in your child’s rules; 0 turns asking off.
• One ask at a time, and an ask left open ends at midnight.
• Five minutes before the minutes run out, your child gets a heads-up, so the lock is never a surprise.

Keep asks for real moments, like the end of a movie with a friend. If they become a habit, lower the number a day.

Habits and their tags

Choose habits you want to do more, and put each tag where the habit happens:

• Read 20 pages: a tag on the bookshelf or the nightstand.
• Stretch: on the yoga mat.
• Work out: on your gym bag.
• Practice an instrument: on the music stand.
• Do the dishes: by the sink.
• Tidy up for 10 minutes: on the laundry basket.

Habits away from home, like a walk or a run, don’t need a tag: check them off in the app. A habit can have days, a time window or a reminder, like a workout on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, with a reminder at 18:00. Earning about what a habit takes keeps it simple: 20 minutes for 20 pages.

Free and earned breaks

Take a break, on Today or on a locked app, adds a few minutes at once. There are two kinds:

Want a break to take a little effort? Lower your free breaks to 0 or 1, and turn on earned breaks. Keep only the games you like. The walk counts with your phone locked in a pocket, and needs an iPhone, since an iPad doesn’t count steps. Only wins count, and you can try as often as you like: a missed chess puzzle shows the right move, and another is a tap away.

Protected limits

Once your setup day is over, your limits are protected: changing them takes a tap on one of your tags, or a 10-minute wait. Then changes stay open for 10 minutes.

• Protected: the apps that need minutes, your free minutes, the bank, breaks and earned breaks, and stopping DoneThen.
• Always open: adding and changing habits, your week, notifications, your subscription and deleting your account.
• New habits wait to earn: while your limits are protected, a new habit, or one changed to earn more, starts earning 10 minutes later. Today shows when, like “From 20:42”.
• Tags are optional: without them, the 10-minute wait opens changes.

Why it helps: you set your limits with a clear head, and a moment of wanting your apps can’t undo them. The tag or the wait puts a pause between wanting more time and taking it. It’s a speed bump, not a cage: your iPhone’s Settings can always turn DoneThen off. There’s research on limits people set for themselves.

Start generous, then tighten

1. On the first day, everything stays open, so try your apps, habits and limits before they’re protected.
2. In the first week, keep the 30 free minutes a day, or more, and see how your days go.
3. Then look at Week, this week next to the week before, and lower your free minutes by 5 or 10. Earn the rest with habits.
4. Keep a break or two, free or earned, for the days that need one.

Tightening is a change too, so it opens with a tag tap or the 10-minute wait.